


Oh, To Thank The Serpent

by Buckets_Of_Stars



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Animal Instincts, Animal Traits, Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale and Crowley in Love (Good Omens), BAMF Crowley (Good Omens), Blood and Injury, Bottom Aziraphale (Good Omens), Complete, Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Cute Aziraphale (Good Omens), Feral Behavior, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Aziraphale (Good Omens), Hurt/Comfort, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), M/M, One Shot, Possessive Behavior, Possessive Crowley (Good Omens), Prompt Fic, Prompt Fill, Protective Crowley (Good Omens), Rabbit Aziraphale (Good Omens), Snake Crowley (Good Omens), Soft Aziraphale (Good Omens), Soulmates, Talking Animals, Top Crowley (Good Omens), True Love, True Mates, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-19
Updated: 2020-02-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:14:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22793839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Buckets_Of_Stars/pseuds/Buckets_Of_Stars
Summary: "If the account given in Genesis is really true, ought we not, after all, to thank this serpent? He was the first schoolmaster, the first advocate of learning, the first enemy of ignorance, the first to whisper in human ears the sacred word liberty, the creator of ambition, the author of modesty, of inquiry, of doubt, of investigation, of progress and of civilization."--Robert Green Ingersoll(Or: An Ineffable Husbands Animal AU)
Relationships: Aziraphale & Gabriel (Good Omens), Aziraphale & The Archangels, Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 17
Kudos: 286





	Oh, To Thank The Serpent

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Fanlan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fanlan/gifts).
  * Inspired by [The Rabbit and The Serpent](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21873565) by [Fanlan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fanlan/pseuds/Fanlan). 



> #2. Prompt: Hey pal can I get some protective Crowley defending bunny zira from my au?
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy this AU! Please let me know what you think and if you have any questions! :D I honestly had such a blast writing this one and I hope you have just as much fun reading it! <3
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Good Omens or any related materials.

* * *

“And you’re _sure_ you know where to go, Aziraphale?”

Flicking one large ear in irritation, Aziraphale glances up at Gabriel through the tall grass surrounding their burrow. His big brother is perched atop his favorite rock, scowling. Gabriel’s dark nose twitches as he waits for an answer and Aziraphale tries not to flinch from his harsh jade glare.

“ _Yes_ , Gabriel.” Aziraphale barely manages to keep from sighing. “I go through the rose hedge, down the bank of the stream until I get to the rotting log. Then I make a left and--”

“Wrong!” Michael’s voice behind him has Aziraphale squeaking in alarm and the smaller rabbit whips around just as his sibling steps out of their den. “You would have gone right into snake territory-- _enemy territory_ \-- with that bird-brained route.” 

Aziraphale swallows. “What? No, I-I take--”

“You take a _right_ , Aziraphale.” Gabriel sighed, hopping down from the mossy rock and stops in-front of his brother, shaking his head. “You always, _always_ take a right at the log. How many times do I have to tell you this?!”

“You would’ve thought not a lot with his big ass ears.” Sandalphon drawls from his place next to the blueberry bush, his yellow teeth stained a deep purple. “I told you. Gabriel. He doesn’t _think_.”

“But I thought I had to visit the Snakes, anyways?” Aziraphale asks, poking at a stray pebble near his foot. “It seems sort of silly to go all the way around--”

“It’s not “silly,” idiot.” Gabriel sneers, lips pulling up and exposing his white incisors. Aziraphale flinches at the sight, pulling back and shivers in slight fear. “We have our borders and they have theirs.” 

“But-But how am I supposed to go--?”

“You just shut up and listen to me. Mother Above, Aziraphale, how can you _always_ be this daft?” 

Sandalphon snorts. “It’s all that stupid human stuff he collects. Messes with his brain, I tell you!”

“It’s not stupid!” Aziraphale feels his hackles rise as he snaps his muzzle toward the smirking brown bunny. “They’re called _books_ and they are very intriguing. At least I don’t spend my day seeing how many berries I can stuff in my cheeks before Mother notices.”

Sandalphon’s eyes widen and he takes an angry step forward, the bush’s dark green leaves rustling above his ears. “Listen here, little Aziraphale--”

“Enough.” Gabriel forces himself in-between his two brothers, glaring at both of them with blazing jade eyes. “We don’t have time for this-this _childish_ squabbling. Mother is counting on us to deliver this message before she gets back tomorrow and I will not have my reputation destroyed because of you two.”

Ducking his head, Aziraphale gives his chest fur a few embarrassed nips, trying in vain to smooth down his tousled white fluff. “Yes, Gabriel, very sorry. Continue, p-please, then.” 

“I don’t think Aziraphale should go at all.” Michael laughs from her corner, nose twitching. “I mean, he can barely follow a few simple directions. He’ll drown in the river before he even gets to the log.”

Above him, Gabriel sighs once more. “Yes, well, Mother said that it _must be_ Aziraphale who does this task--”

“Any ideas why?” Sandalphon rolls his eyes, pushing his front paws out in a stretch that has Aziraphale’s back aching in sympathy, all the brown rabbit’s earlier anger apparently forgotten. “If anything, it should be me--” 

Uriel snorts, batting away a stray dandelion stem as she steps off the path toward the river, the fur around her muzzle still slightly damp. “Yeah, no. They wouldn’t take you seriously with all those blueberries in your teeth.” 

“Yeah, yeah.” Sandalphon shrugs, moving toward the den without a backwards glance. “Just let me know what kind of flowers Aziraphale wants at his funeral.”

“Anyways.” Gabriel rolls his eyes and huffs, leaning down slightly so that he’s at eye-level with Aziraphale. “If you want to make it to Snake Territory and back before dark, I would get a move on now. Wouldn’t want you getting lost.” 

“Oh yes, y-yes, right, of course!” Aziraphale hesitates, reaching up to rub at one of his ears with a shaky paw. “I’ll just-just be right off then, yes.”

“Hop to it.” Gabriel doesn’t crack a smile at his own joke, only watches Aziraphale with dark, violet eyes. “Don’t take too long.”

Aziraphale can only nod, stomach churning with anxiety. If his siblings notice anything, they don’t let on and the white bunny has no choice but to silently turn around and begin to make his way up the hill. He glances back, once, when he finally makes it to the crest and the sight of the now empty meadow is as unsurprising as it is dreadful.

Aziraphale shivers.

He then noses his way through the first few, low branches of the rose hedge and the resulting, green-tinged shadows fold over him like dark waves. 

* * *

It wasn’t that Aziraphale had made a wrong turn. 

It really wasn’t. 

He had gone through the rose bush fine, had only managed to scratch his flank once against the thorns and had stepped on only two. He had even gotten to the river with an extra tail-length of time to spare, the sun still hanging just below the top treeline, spreading it’s golden rays against the damp soil below. 

Aziraphale was doing fine. 

He _was._

He then had traveled along the bank of the stream for a few minutes, grimacing at the feeling of the mud against his paws. His heart raced with both anxiety and adrenaline and the white bunny nearly sobbed with relief at the sight of the rotting log just ahead. 

He had slowed down, taking his time to carefully scoot around a large rock, nearly slipping off the wet, gray surface in his haste. His claws struggled to find traction, and he finally hauled himself around the other edge with a small grunt of effort.

It was at the moment Aziraphale noticed the gleam, the sudden shimmer reflecting right into his eye. He winced, blinking in pain and confusion. 

_What the--?_

Turning to his left, the white rabbit is forced to squint, watching as the wind shifts the leaves overhead and allowing a small ray of sunlight to filter through. 

Aziraphale frowns, ears twitching as he carefully steps off the rock, curiosity peaking. 

A few feet away, just behind what looks like a small patch of shrubs, is some sort of human object, the long metal seemingly half-buried in the dark grass. Aziraphale creeps closer, tilting his short snout down to sniff along the wire, the metal warm from where it’s been heated by the flickering sunlight. 

Carefully, after lifting his head, Aziraphale reaches out with a trembling paw, going to shift the grass to get a closer look. 

He has just nudged a twig out of the way when the wire seems to come alive, suddenly wrapping around his leg before the bunny could even flinch. 

“Ah!” Yelping in pain, Aziraphale squeals when he tries to wrench away, the metal tightening with each frantic tug. Heart stopping terror races through Aziraphale, his sides heaving as he pants, blue eyes wide. “N-No! No!”

After a few more unsuccessful attempts to release himself from the trap, Aziraphale finally collapses back against the dirt with a whimper, fear and pain causing his head to spin. 

Faintly, the small rabbit is aware of the blood starting to stain his fur a dark red, but he can’t seem to force himself to actually look at his foot. 

“Help!” He shouts instead, startling a few birds from the trees above him. They flutter away without even a backwards glance, and Aziraphale can’t stop the sob that bubbles out. “P-Please, please, help me--”

He continues screaming until his throat goes dry and aches from the abuse, until the sun has made its way past the treeline and spills its dark golden rays against the damp grass. His foot aches terribly, Aziraphale’s entire body trembling as he finally gives up.

He lays back against the grass, watching as the sun cuts below the horizon, turning the sky above him pale, blistering hues of pink and orange. Next to him, the pool of red grows and Aziraphale tries to not focus on the way his vision blurs slightly at the edges, his gasps catching in his throat. 

Tucking his un-injured legs underneath him, Aziraphale gazes upwards, the stars just starting to shimmer against the slowly darkening sky. 

_He’s going to die_.

The thought causes a sharp jab of cold terror to freeze his chest, and Aziraphale lets out a dry sob. His siblings were right after all, he really doesn’t think. 

Another throb of agony travels up his still bleeding leg and the white rabbit flinches, finally glancing at his foot and nearly upheaves at the sight of the blood soaked ground. The red is dark in the night, the droplets closest to his face rust scented and dry.

If he was any other rabbit, he would assume that his siblings were looking for him. 

That they are worried out of their minds about the disappearance of their youngest brother, but Aziraphale knows better than to rely on false hopes.

“You don’t look ssssso good, little bunny.” A sudden low voice hisses to his right and Aziraphale jumps in surprise, letting out a whine of pain. “Hold on, hold on, don’t move.” 

“What--?” Clearing his throat, Aziraphale coughs, squinting in the darkness. “Who’s there?” 

“You’re the one in _my_ territory, love.” It’s a snake, long and black, with a gleaming red underbelly. Aziraphale shivers as his sudden companion slithers even closer, the snake’s scales cutting through the blood soaked grass. “I think I ssshould be the one assking the questionsss, hmm?” 

“Can-Can you help me?” Aziraphale whispers, trying in vain to follow the snake’s movements, shifting a little when he comes to a stop a few inches from Aziraphale. “Please?”

The snake lifts his head, his long, forked tongue tasting the air. He seems to grimace, yellow eyes suddenly finding Aziraphale’s wide blue ones through the night. The sight of them, so close to his face, catches the rabbit off guard and he gasps. 

They are beautiful, the gold catching the light of the rising moon, turning the snake’s slitted pupils silver. He turns away after a second, however, seemingly hissing at himself in frustration.

Shaking his head to clear the sudden fog, Aziraphale wills away the blush wanting to creep up his face, instead focusing on the way his companion studies the wire still wrapped Aziraphale’s paw. The snake’s tongue pokes out again, barely brushing against Aziraphale’s foot before he leans back.

“Human trap.” The snake hisses more to himself than to Aziraphale, snout pulling down in a frown. “Mussst have been the one Ligur mentioned yesterday.”

“Yes, yes. Can you get me out of it?” Aziraphale asks, heart skipping when the snake glances at him again. 

“Of courssse.” 

The snake quickly slithers to somewhere behind Aziraphale and the bunny is too exhausted to follow anymore. With a harsh sigh, Aziraphale glances upwards once again, watching as more and more stars twinkle in the rapidly approaching night. 

“Your name’s Zira, right?” 

Aziraphale blinks. “Excuse me?”

The snake lets out a laugh behind him. “You’re name, little bunny. Heads up, you might feel a bit of a pinch, sweetheart, sssorry in advance.”

A sudden and surprisingly gentle tug against the wire has Aziraphale flinching in pain, letting out a whine. As quickly as the pain appeared, however, it fades as the wire loosens a bit, and Aziraphale feels the serpent’s cool scales slide against his fur as his companion carefully twists around him.

“Aziraphale.” He says, shivering.“My name’s, uh, Aziraphale.”

“Azzziraphale.” The snake breathes out his name, a soft hiss into the darkness. “My name’s Crowley. Pleasssure to meet you, darling.”

_Crowley._

Aziraphale’s heart skips and he almost can’t stop himself from leaning closer. Crowley’s scales brush against the fur on his side and Aziraphale bites his tongue to keep from whimpering.

“How--” He gasps, swallowing. “--How did you know that?”

Crowley seems to shrug, his long tongue tasting the air around them. “Truce Gatherings, sssweetness. What are you doing all the way over here, though? The next one isn’t for another few moons.” 

Aziraphale sighs harshly, lifting up his bleeding paw when Crowley continues to carefully loosen the wire. After a few more tugs, the metal comes un-done, slipping from around Aziraphale’s foot. 

“There you go, love.” Crowley says, slithering a little ways away to allow Aziraphale room to wiggle up. His beautiful golden eyes glow in the darkness. “Careful putting weight on it, lean on me.” 

Doing as he’s told, Aziraphale limps so that he’s next to the snake, allowing Crowley to gently slink underneath him, supporting his leg. They begin to slowly crawl toward the river, the moon casting silver shadows around them. The bunny’s nose twitches, the luscious scent of serpent next to him causing his head to spin in a way that’s not related to blood loss. 

“You doing okay, darling?” Crowley asks, yellow eyes flickering in amusement and concern, the soft flick of his long tongue grazing Aziraphale’s cheek. “I didn’t render you a mute, right?” 

_Right, right, he asked you a question. Mother Above, pull yourself together, Aziraphale._

Shaking his head slightly, Aziraphale coughs. “No, you-you certainly didn’t, my dear. I was supposed to deliver a message to your Leader, but got, uh, got sort of caught up, as you saw.”

Crowley hisses out a laugh, carefully leading Aziraphale over a small log and around the muddy bed of the stream. “What’s it about? The message?” 

Aziraphale winces when his leg gives a particularly sharp jab of pain, shifting closer to Crowley when the serpent coos, unblinking eyes never leaving Aziraphale’s face. The rabbit feels himself start to lean closer, to gently rut his head against Crowley’s, but pulls away at the last second. 

“I’m not allowed to say.” Aziraphale says instead, pretending to study the wet pebbles underneath his paws, the gleaning rocks reflecting the silver stars above. “Gabriel said that it's confidential.”

“Why’s that?”

Aziraphale shrugs, nose twitching as they finally make their way past the log. “I truly have no clue, but I’m strictly prohibited from sharing it with anyone besides your Leader and their Second-In-Command.” 

Crowley barks out a laugh and Aziraphale flushes. 

Turning away when the serpent continues to snicker next to him, Aziraphale grits his teeth, the pain from his leg mixing with the sudden, sharp pain in his heart causing the bunny to blink back more tears.

 _You are a fool, Aziraphale. An utter fool._

“I do not--” Aziraphale starts, beginning to pull away. “--Forgive me, but _just what_ did I say that was-was so funny?” 

Crowley, however, seems to catch the poorly concealed hurt in Aziraphale’s voice and gently tugs the rabbit closer, his laughter turning to soothing hissing. Aziraphale, as though drawn by an invisible force, something even greater than nature Herself, finds himself falling back against the snake. 

The feeling of his dark scales against Aziraphale’s fur is as unexpectedly familiar as the moon overhead and Aziraphale’s head spins. 

“It wasn’t funny, per-say.” Crowley says, turning away from the river and leading Aziraphale down a pine-needle covered path. “Just ssssurprising, angel.” 

Aziraphale frowns, blue eyes finding Crowley’s gold ones through the night. “I don’t understand.”

“Well,” The snake lifts his head higher, wiggling his snout a bit. “I’m Beezelbub’s second-in-command.”

“What?” Aziraphale gasps. “But-But you’re never seated with the others during Truce Gatherings?” 

Crowley snorts, flicking his tail lightly along the slightly raised fur on Aziraphale’s back. “I don’t like all the attention, to be honest, darling. But from _you_? Well, I think I could make an exception. . .”

Aziraphale blushes, suddenly very grateful for the excess fur covering his face. “W-Well, I wouldn’t say no to that, my dear. But, uh, about the message--?”

Crowley grins, fangs gleaming as they pass a dead tree, the light from the moon reflecting off the dry bark. “I would very much like to hear it, if you would feel sssso kind, my dove.”

“Mother wants a truce.” Aziraphale whispers, ears twitching as a bird flutters high above them, their wings brushing against the dew-soaked leaves. “For the summer months. Since your lot has control over of most the river, and she can tell it’s going to be a very dry season, worst one in moons. To be truly honest, I don’t know how she knows this, but you learn to never second-guess Mother, and if you all would agree to it, that would be-be swell because--” 

“Woah, woah. Slow down, sssweatheart.” Crowley hisses, pulling Aziraphale closer, his tongue brushing against the white bunny’s cheek. “Of courssse we’ll agree.”

“But what-what about your Leader? How can you be sure they will agree, as well?” 

“For you? I have my waysss, trust me.” Crowley says and Aziraphale’s heart warms. “I don’t mean to offend, love, but why in the four seasons did your Mother choose _you_ for this mission? I would think that it would have been more suited to your brother--what was his name again? Gerald?”

Aziraphale laughs, sucking in a sharp gasp when his leg throbs. Crowley soothes him, ducking them underneath a low-laying branch, careful to keep the leaves from poking Aziraphale’s eyes. They are getting close to the Snake Camp, the scent of the serpents leaves a musty smell around the grass.

Aziraphale picks Crowley’s out and can barely hide how the taste against his tongue causes him to shiver. 

“Gabriel.” Aziraphale corrects when he feels he can speak again without whimpering. “And yes, he is more suited, most of the time. But Mother insisted it had to be me, said that I was the one least likely to cause issues, the most expendable, the one the least--” 

“Intimidating?” Crowley interrupts and chuckles at the glare Aziraphale shoots his way. “Sorry, angel, sssorry. While I do have to agree on one term, I think they’re wrong as far as the expendable part.”

Aziraphale frowns, both of them coming to a halt as they reach the very edge of the Snake Camp. “What do you mean?”

“To me--” Crowley breathes, tail snaking around and gently-- _always careful_ Aziraphale notices -- wrapping around Aziraphale’s waist, his golden eyes sparkling. “To me, you are the most precious treasure Nature herself could have ever brought to life.” 

“Oh--” Aziraphale flushes, finally giving in and allowing himself to fall against Crowley, to let the serpent bare his weight. His heart expands with sudden love, overwhelming and powerful. “Crowley, I-I--” 

“I’ve never felt like this before, Azzziraphale.” Crowley says, voice awed, scales cool against Aziraphale’s heated skin. “All the others, they haven’t ever felt like enough, not for me. I always thought it was wrong, that _I wassss_ wrong--” 

“I’ve felt the same way.” Aziraphale admits, nuzzling closer, feeling Crowley’s chin bump against the top of his head. “Like I wasn’t in the right place. With you--” 

“I have never felt more right.” Crowley finishes. “I know, my dear heart, I know.”

They are both silent for a few seconds, watching as the sky above them begins to lighten, as the moon slowly dips below the horizon and the stars twinkle once again into nothingness. Aziraphale, ignoring the pain in his foot, snuggles as close to his mate as possible, feeling Crowley’s coils wrap around him, effortlessly holding the bunny sightly off the damp ground.

Finally, Crowley breaks the silence with a sigh, pulling back enough to face Aziraphale. His beautiful golden eyes bore into Aziraphale and the rabbit watches in awe as the first rays of sunlight rise above the cracks in the treeline, reflecting in Crowley’s dark scales. 

“We had best be going now, darling.” The snake hisses, voice tinged in a regret that echoes deep through the white rabbit’s chest. “I want to make sure that you’re safe, back at your burrow by the next nightfall.” 

“But--” Aziraphale’s voice cracks and he clears his throat, carefully falling into stride beside his love when Crowley starts to slither his way further into the last bush before the Snake Camp. “What-What about us?” 

“It’s a truce, remember?” Crowley leans down, nosing along the soft fur of Aziraphale’s ears, his tongue darting out. “Your message.”

“But afterwards?”

This makes Crowley pause and he shakes his head after a second, coils tensing. Just past the last branch, Aziraphale can finally catch sight of the Serpent Camp, the unfamiliar scents causing his nose to crinkle. 

“We will find a way.” Crowley finally promises, pressing one last kiss against Aziraphale’s head. Aziraphale doesn’t hesitate to rise up, brush against as much of his lovely snake as possible. “Everything’ll work out, my darling love, I promisssse you thisss.” 

And surrounded by the scents of his apparent enemies, their slitted eyes finding his in the new dawn, blood staining the fur along his foot and his heart hammering as loud as a woodpecker against his ribcage, Aziraphale doesn’t feel fear or anxiety curl into his bones.

Oh no, instead Aziraphale feels a love, as deep as the darkest waters in the river.

It’s both overwhelming and empowering and Aziraphale is at peace for the first time in his long lifetime. What his siblings will say, what will happen during the next few nightfalls suddenly don't matter; they are as insignificant as the furthest stars.

Because he has Crowley now and they are _enough._

“Thank you.” He whispers, limping out from the bush and into the fresh sunlight. “Thank you.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Kudos make my day and comments fuel my writing! ;D
> 
> My Good Omens Tumblr: https://top-crowley-central.tumblr.com


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